Smartphones nowadays offer an incredible amount of choice. You can grab the latest and greatest flagships, flagship killers, budget kings, or pretty much anything else under the sun. But no matter what you choose, the final big decision is always the same: what color do you want?
Read also: 15 worst Android phone names, ranked
Despite the fact that many buyers slap on a case before even turning on the phone, brands always try to get cute with their phone colorway names and stylings. Primary colors be damned, these are the worst phone colors and/or colorway names ever offered.
Huawei Mate 20 RS Porsche Design
Huawei has been releasing Porsche-themed smartphones for years, which means that apparently someone is buying them. They can cost well over twice as much as the standard versions, which is justified not by spec increases but instead by garish leather backing and exclusive pre-installed Porsche Design wallpapers (that you can totally download onto any other phone).
The Mate 20 RS Porsche Design makes the list over its peers because it was the first to feature an actual racing stripe down the back of the phone. This makes the phone truly fly — nearly as fast as the money from your wallet as this hideous thing has a whopping €1,695 ($1,800) price tag.
Google Pixel 4 — Oh So Orange
Google has an interesting habit of turning perfectly normal color names into chromatic vulgarities with the addition of a short prefix. Previous examples include Not Pink (which you might recognize as pink), Quite Black and Just Black (subtle differences here), and Kinda Blue (but mostly gray). Sometimes it’s a suffix, like Purple-ish, but the result is equally irritating.
The search giant’s 2019 Pixel 4 lineup featured the worst name yet: Oh So Orange. The jury is still out on whether or not this is intended to be sarcastic, although in person the color bears little resemblance to the fruit. A more accurate name might be Sickly Salmon or Putrid Peach.
Oppo Reno Ace — Psychedelic Purple
This Oppo Reno Ace colorway is part of a long tradition of phone manufacturers refusing to call a spade a spade when it comes to the color purple. There’s the aforementioned Purple-ish, Mystic Purple, Night Purple, Dream Purple, and for the Reno Ace the most egregiously groovy: Psychedelic Purple. So what exactly makes it psychedelic? Is it tie-dye patterns? Is it bright, contrasting colors kaleidoscopically swirling around each other? Is the camera module a modified peace sign?
Nope, it’s the same blue-purple gradient color we’ve seen on so many phones released in the past two years. In fact, the majority of the back of the phone is blue, with just the bottom third barely passing for what could be called purple in the right light.
Samsung Galaxy S10 — Flamingo Pink and Canary Yellow
The Samsung Galaxy S10 lineup features an interesting arrangement of colors. It has a variety of “radical magical colors” which are communicated by putting the word “prism” in front of primary colors. These are Prism Blue, Prism Green, etc., and they look like normal colors.
But certain models also come in two bright avian flavors called Flamingo Pink and Canary Yellow. These are boldly targeted at the intersection of birdwatchers and people who want to be blinded by their smartphones.
OnePlus 7T Pro McLaren Edition
Have you ever wanted a smartphone that comes with pre-installed finger smudges on the back? Your search is over, because the OnePlus 7T Pro McLaren Edition comes with a hideous pattern covering the back of the phone.
It’s not exactly clear if OnePlus was going for a luxurious wood grain pattern or an oil-spill, but my money’s on the latter. The phone’s accents are in McLaren’s signature Papaya Orange, which was a design decision that we can’t blame on OnePlus.
Xiaomi Mi 6X Hatsune Miku Edition
Finally, a phone for mega weebs. Xiaomi teamed up with vocaloids to emblazon its Mi 6 smartphone with everyone’s favorite 16-year-old singing waifu. Now fans can snuggle up with their Miku body pillow and play their favorite bootleg vocaloid games in bed, accompanied by the twintailed teen.
As for the color itself, it’s a gaudy bright blue that really evokes the feel of Miku’s absolutely ridiculous hairstyle. On the plus side, it did come with a 10,000mAh power bank, a case, a gift card, and some exclusive UI themes. The company later released the Xiaomi Mi Lady, which came with a fan-favorite Miku-themed fedora.
Realme X — Onion and Garlic
We round out our list of terrible phone colorways are these two gems from Chinese upstart Realme. These two versions of the Realme X will give your dishes that dash of flavor they’ve always missed. Just don’t go overboard or you’ll be slamming down antacids all evening.
When Oppo first approached famed Muji designer Naoto Fukasawa, he apparently suggested onion and garlic designs. Most of the room thought he was just messing with them, but no one felt comfortable calling him on it, and so here we are.
That’s it for our list of the worst phone colorways ever released. Did we miss any hideous colors? Let us know in the comments below!